Chimney Surprises
by TheCabinet
Summary: Draco keeps finding himself in tight spaces. First with Hermione and then somewhere a little more awkward.


**A/N:** This is just a little something that was inspired by a part in _The Absence of Lavender_, by fellow Cabinet author Jennasaurus. Hope you enjoy! :)

**Disclaimer:** The characters and world belong to Joanne Rowling, but you already knew that. ;)

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><p>They stood behind a suit of armour in an alcove of a deserted corridor. They'd been meeting each other secretly all over the castle for over a month now but neither felt ready to announce to the school that they were friends, let alone anything more than that. They hadn't even admitted it aloud to each other yet.<p>

Draco, his right hand against the wall behind Hermione's head and his left hand on her lower back, leaned down to kiss Hermione. Before their lips could meet he let out a quiet cry of discomfort.

"I wish there was somewhere we could meet where I could kiss you without getting constantly stabbed in the back by a disgruntled knight," he said, trying to rub the sore spot and only succeeding in getting an elbow-full of hard metal.

Hermione giggled. "I told you we should find a deserted classroom. We could lock the door and nobody would be any the wiser."

Draco considered this for a moment. "We could also set up spells to warn us if someone is going past. But we'd still run the risk of Peeves floating in on us and alerting the school."

Hermione frowned. If her friends were going to find out about her and Draco, she'd rather it wasn't thanks to the poltergeist. "Looks like we're stuck with small, cramped spaces then." She grinned as she stood on her toes, wrapped her arms around Draco's neck and kissed him.

He pulled his head back to speak and there was a clatter as the back of his head collided with the helmet. "Can we at least find a broom cupboard next time?"

…

Harry and Ron were walking along a second floor corridor, having just taken a shortcut on their way back to Gryffindor common room.

"Did you hear that?" Ron asked as they passed a suit of armour.

"Hear what?" said Harry, looking around. The corridor was empty apart from himself and Ron.

"There was a clang over there." He pointed in the direction of the noise.

Harry listened carefully and was able to make out some quiet murmuring. "It's probably just some couple snogging. Come on." He watched Ron make a face and the two of them kept walking. They had only taken half a dozen steps each when there was another louder clang.

"You don't think its Ginny, do you?" Ron asked looking repulsed. "It wouldn't be the first time I've caught her snogging in public."

Jealousy stirred low in Harry's stomach. "No, can't be. We left the pitch before her."

This seemed to satisfy Ron, though he didn't turn away from the alcove. "Whoever they are they should _find somewhere more private!_" He yelled the last words.

There was a high pitched squeal and another bang and Harry had to drag Ron away before he could embarrass the couple further.

…

Hermione let out an involuntary squeal when she heard Ron's voice. She immediately pressed a hand over Draco's mouth to prevent him from making a noise. Unfortunately, in her panic, Hermione had put more force into her hand than she intended and Draco's head once again slammed into the suit of armour behind him.

"Sorry," Hermione mouthed as they both stood in silence – other than the continued ringing in Draco's ears – and listened to the footsteps fade down the corridor. Hermione waited another minute before removing her hand from Draco's mouth and chancing a whisper so quiet he almost didn't hear it: "Sorry! You should probably see if Madam Pomfrey has any bruise paste."

Draco chuckled. "You're more worried about my bruised head than almost being caught by your best friends. I'm touched."

Hermione slapped him lightly on the shoulder. "Shut up. Go get that seen to." She gave him a quick peck on the lips before checking that the coast was clear and heading off towards Gryffindor Tower.

…

Hermione arrived in the common room to find Harry and Ron sitting by the fire.

"Hi," she greeted them, sitting down in a free armchair.

"You're flushed," said Ron, taking in Hermione's red face. "And your hair's messed up," he added, showing more awareness to Hermione's appearance than ever before.

She blushed, remembering the way her heart had pounded when she and Draco had almost been caught by Ron.

"You haven't been snogging behind suits of armour have you?"

Harry chuckled. "I think Hermione has a little more class than that, mate." Hermione felt heat rise in her cheeks at his words. "Besides, if Hermione was spending her time snogging, she'd have told us."

Guilt swept through Hermione but she tried to keep her voice even as she replied. "Thank you, Harry." She frowned at Ron; "I've been in the library. Peeves saw me and chased me up three floors, throwing spit-balls at me, before I ducked into the loo to hide. Luckily he has the decency to stay out of the girls' bathrooms."

Ron scowled. "I don't blame Filch for wanting Peeves out of the castle. He's a disturber of the peace."

Harry laughed. "They should have sent him to tail Umbridge. He could give her hell for the rest of her life."

Ron grinned. "Then we'd all be happy."

"Except Umbridge," Hermione pointed out.

"She doesn't count. She's a horrible old hag with no sense of humour. Come to think of it, she and Filch are perfect for each other. Those two should get hitched and go and live horribly ever after with Peeves somewhere incredibly isolated."

Hermione laughed along with Harry, relieved that Ron seemed to have forgotten about his snogging accusations, at least for the time being.

…

The following evening when Hermione met up with Draco behind their usual suit of armour, Draco noticed she was more jittery than usual. She was jumping away from him every time she heard footsteps.

"What's wrong, Hermione?" Draco asked after she jumped back so violently she smacked her head on the wall behind her.

"Ron suspects us," she told him.

"Why don't you just tell them?

Hermione raised one eyebrow, in a perfect imitation of Draco. "Are you going to tell Blaise or Pansy that we've been meeting in secret for over a month now?"

"Good point. We'll just have to find a better hiding spot."

Draco's idea of a better hiding spot turned out to be a broom cupboard. Or rather, a series of broom cupboards around the castle. He reasoned that as long as they locked the door magically, Filch wouldn't be able to catch them.

"What about students?" Hermione asked.

"The only students that are going to want to get into a broom cupboard are going to be looking for somewhere to snog. They'll be so wrapped up in each other I'll be able to stun them before they realise we're in there. Anyway, I don't know why you're so worried. We've been hiding behind suits of armour and statues for weeks and haven't been discovered."

Hermione had to admit, Draco could be very convincing when he wanted to be.

The following Sunday Hermione woke to find an owl pecking at her window. She got up to receive the letter before any of her dorm mates woke up.

_The cupboard across from the cabinet on the Arithmancy corridor. Usual time._

_ -D._

Hermione quickly tore up the note and vanished the remains. The 'usual time' on a Sunday meant 11:30. Ron and Harry both usually had Quidditch practice at that time so Hermione didn't have to make up an excuse to disappear for an hour or two before lunch. That Sunday in particular Hermione dressed and went down to the common room to meet the boys as usual before going down to breakfast together. She sat in front of the fire with her Ancient Runes text book to wait for them. When they finally made an appearance, Hermione was surprised to see them without their broomsticks or Quidditch uniforms on.

When she voiced her surprise, Harry told her, "Had to move training to Tuesday afternoon this week. Ravenclaw complained that we were always taking the weekend slot. I think they were annoyed their training was cutting into precious study time or something."

Ron rolled his eyes, while Hermione forced a laugh, too distracted to berate Harry for his comment.

The trio breakfasted and then headed outside with their homework to sit by the lake. At 11:15 Hermione closed her books.

"I need to check something in the library for my Arithmancy essay. I'll meet you for lunch later?" She tried to smile naturally.

"Sure," Ron said, lying back on the grass. "My brain is fried anyway."

Hermione shoved her things into her bag and headed back to the castle. She went straight to the Arithmancy corridor on the seventh floor and looked for the cabinet Draco had mentioned in his letter. She found it and stood in front of the broom cupboard making sure no one was looking. Before she had a chance to turn around and knock on the door it was flung open and a hand grabbed her, pulling her inside. Hermione let out an involuntary scream of surprise which came to an abrupt end when Draco pressed his hips to hers. She was just reaching up to put her arm around his neck when the door flung open again, making them both yelp.

All Hermione saw was a mop of red hair before Draco was pulled from the cupboard and slammed against the wall.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Ron screamed, one arm against Draco's throat.

Draco shot one look at Hermione's terrified face before donning his famous snarl and answering, "None of your business, Weasel."

"Like hell it's not! That's my friend you just attacked!" Ron growled. "Harry, open that cabinet for me."

Hermione noticed Harry for the first time, standing against the opposite wall. He waved his wand at the cabinet and the doors swung wide, allowing Ron to wrestle Draco into the cabinet; Draco's lean physique was no match for Ron's large frame, practised as he was at wrestling his older brothers. When he had successfully stuffed Draco into the cabinet, he slammed the doors and cast a locking charm.

"What are you doing?" Hermione shrieked.

"Teaching the git a lesson," Ron said.

The calmness in his voice told Hermione he probably didn't realise what he had just done.

"You don't know what that cabinet is, do you?"

Ron shook his head.

"It's the cabinet Montague got thrown into by your brothers!"

Ron's expression remained confused.

"It's a Vanishing Cabinet, Ronald! A _broken_ Vanishing Cabinet. By now Draco could be half way to Australia!"

Ron laughed. Harry at least had the decency to look worried.

"Why are you so concerned, Hermione? You hate him. He just tried to attack you! Merlin knows what he would have done if I hadn't saved you." Ron looked pleased with himself.

"I – " Hermione wasn't sure if this was the best time to tell Ron about her new friendship with Malfoy. "I just don't want you to get in trouble over that slime ball."

Ron laughed. "Fred and George didn't get more than a detention. Even a detention with Snape will be worth the look on Malfoy's face when he finally turns up."

…

Unfortunately, Ron didn't get to see the look on Malfoy's face when he reappeared four days later. None of the trio did. And Ron got more than one detention: he got a month's worth of detentions with McGonagall.

On Thursday evening McGonagall was in her office marking essays when she heard a strange noise coming from her fireplace. If she hadn't known it was locked to all but her, she would have thought someone was trying to floo in. Passing it off for some kind of animal, she went back to her marking. Ten minutes later there was a loud bang and several photo frames fell off the mantle. Minerva put down her quill and crossed the room to investigate, levitating the frames back into place as she went. Years of war had taught her caution so before she stuck her head in the fireplace or summoned anything out, she cast a quick 'homenum revelio'. A small wisp of smoke exited the flue.

"Who's there?"

A muffled grunting could be heard from behind the mantle.

"I'm going to summon your wand," Minerva warned, before casting a summoning charm and catching the wand that zoomed out of the fireplace.

She looked at the wand in her hand – she had seen this wand before, many times.

"Mr Malfoy?"

A mumbled reply came from within the flue. Minerva stepped closer and looked up into the cavity above the fireplace. Unable to make out anything more than a dark blur, she lit her wand. Draco Malfoy was above her, stuck.

Minerva stepped well back and cast another spell. This one was followed by a loud crash and Malfoy tumbling unceremoniously onto the hearth.

"What in Merlin's name are you doing in my fireplace, Mr Malfoy?" she asked as she helped him to his feet and cleaned the soot away with a sixth wave of her wand.

"I don't know. I – Weasley! Weasley shoved me in a cabinet!"

Understanding dawned on Minerva's face. "I see. Why would he do that?"

Draco flushed; a rare sight. "I was – he found me in – in a closet with – "

"On second thought, I don't need to know the details. Are you hurt?"

"Just a little bit hungry, Professor."

"Very well. If you hurry you might catch the end of dinner. I ask that once you've eaten you pay a visit to the hospital wing. We wouldn't want to rob Madam Pomfrey on a chance to tend to a student."

Malfoy agreed and hurried out of the office. As he entered the Great Hall he bumped into Harry, Ron and Hermione.

"You're ok!" Hermione screamed, throwing her arms around his neck and surprising him with this public show of affection.

Draco wasn't anywhere near as surprised as Ron, however, whose eyes boggled.

"He attacks you and then you hug him?"

Draco could see comprehension slowly making its way through Harry's mind, but couldn't resist the opportunity to leave Ron dumbfounded.

"I wasn't attacking her, Weasley. If you'd have given me a second, I might have told you."

"Told me what?" Ron was looking angrily between Draco and Hermione.

"That I was snogging Hermione."

Draco put his hands on either side of Hermione's face and gave her a quick kiss. He then turned abruptly and headed for the Slytherin table. When he sat down he could see Ron still staring at the spot he had been standing in, face red with rage and jaw half way to the floor.

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><p><strong>AN:** If you enjoyed this, you might like to check out our other Cabinet stories, and also my personal account, willow-writer. :) Thanks for reading!


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